“And God blessed them, and God said unto them, be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it: and have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over every living thing which moves upon the earth.” Genesis 1:28-KJV
Earlier in 2016, I co-authored a book on marriage and family with my husband the man of God, Dr. Shawn Smith.
Concerning the foundation of a Christian home we made it clear that marriage was not just a license for a man and a woman to have sex. This misconception by some Christians is taken out of something the Apostle Paul said in 1 Corinthians 7:9 which many take out of context, that is, “it is better for a man to get married than to burn with desire.”
If marriage could solve promiscuity, there would be no adultery. If a woman could not control her ways before she got married, she will not be able to control herself after she gets married. Marriage was created for a man and a woman to have dominion over creation as vice regents of God; ruling on His behalf, by pursuing His revealed plan. We do not marry uniquely on the basis of love. Human affections and feelings are temporary.
If there is not something superior to human love to preserve and re-ignite, to re-kindle your love, then it is going to diminish and die down very soon after your marriage. Singleness of purpose is crucial to cleave your perspectives together. When love or esteem seems to be shaken or diminished, singleness of purpose will reignite esteem and love. When life partners make progress in the purpose of God together in harmony, value and love increase.
You cannot marry biblically, if your choice of life partner is not first of all a Christian – not merely a “God-fearing” person. You cannot commit yourself to marry someone who does not first of all share your viewpoint on crucial matters of faith because division implies two distinct visions. Stability begins with agreement and concord (Amos 3:3). The agreement of faith is powerful because when you will face trials as a couple, unless you have the same source of teachings, there will be no agreement of faith.
You will not be able to believe and receive from God together because both of you will be hearing two different sources. Spiritual agreement is the root of all agreement. The issue of agreement with the singleness of the purpose of God is something which is key.
Many people say the God-ordained purpose for marriage is for reproduction. If that were true, then unmarried people would not have children. Prostitutes have children; people in adulterous relationships bear children. In the book of Genesis, when God placed man on earth, He gave him dominion. Marriage is for the fulfillment of the dominion mandate. Marriage, understood in the Christian context, releases dominion and grace. Marriage is not just meant to increase your status or meet your needs; it is to fulfill God’s purpose.
Getting married to a life partner just because of the indication of your feelings is unwise because there must be foundations to sustain true love. It is being involved in something greater than yourself and building something that is greater than you.
As a Christian woman or girl, your marriage needs to be centered on the revealed purpose of God. The fall took place because Adam failed to convey the vision of God to Eve as given to him by God. Eve thought to herself that there was something out of her relationship with God that she could experience that she was not then experiencing. Once you fail to convey the vision of God’s revealed plan and your passion and determination to fulfill it to your spouse-to-be, there’s going to be a fall somewhere in your union.
“Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave Himself for it; that He might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, that He might present it to Himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish.” Ephesians 5:25-27 KJV
The institution of marriage is a calling of being a model of Christ and the Church. The husband and the wife have a calling. The wife’s role is to represent the Church in her relationship to Christ to her husband and to the world.
Those who observe you as a couple, are supposed to see the relationship of Christ and the Church through you. The way you join your practice to the doctrine that you have received will determine the way you live your marriage life.
The relationship of husband and wife is under the institution of marriage. When you see a man and his wife, you are looking at a whole institution which is going to build a home. The relationship between a husband and a wife is the closest thing on earth to either heaven or hell. The person you get married to will determine the quality, and even the quantity, of your life. As ministers in Christ, we need to free ourselves of anything that does not constitute God and be surrounded by all that constitutes God. That is your manner of life.